Ask Digestivo: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Gift Guide

Chicks that blew ya mind ding this the second round

My dear, delightful readers, are we having fun yet? Do we like this new format? Send us your questions, comments, concerns, nudes, whatever at askdigestivo@gmail.com and we’ll respond in due course.

Your 2020 Holiday Gift Guide remains a true inspiration for this Taurus (a certain waffle robe sits in my shopping cart in an open tab as I type this). While I’m cursed by the fate of not making enough money to indulge in absurd material goods with reckless abandon, I love an aspirational list of things to browse online, maybe even resulting in a purchase or two. So in that spirit, what are some of the things you’re eyeing this summer? Any cute swimsuits, slides, or fun beach reads on the horizon?

— Taurus Longing for a Summer Gift Guide and a Raise

PLUS, another anonymous reader writes: I would like a Christmas gift guide in July

Ask and ye shall receive, sweet readers! Feast your eyes on our latest extended wish list, filled with things we’re currently obsessing over, coveting, pining for, and in most cases, would gladly accept sponsorships from. Jk hahaha… unless…

Seeing as the tridelta variant is throwing a wrench into looming return to office plans, perhaps it's time to once again consider refreshing your work from home space, even and especially if it doubles as a sitting room, dining room, kitchen, and/or bedroom. Seasoned readers are aware that I’ve (JS) been on the hunt for better seating, and currently have my sights set on the noho move chair, New Zealand’s hottest piece of upcycled plastic that additionally bears the genuinely trademarked title Life Enriching Furniture™. I’m also reminding myself to stay hydrated, seeing as my Grady’s subscription has effectively provided me with a cold brew IV – I’d eagerly throw back my daily eight glasses of agua with this Lagos del Mundo cantaro, handmade in Oaxaca. Not to get all “French girl style” but j’insiste que Moleskine cahiers are the best for recording daily to-dos, meeting notes, and Zoom doodling (though I keep track of the week with my Appointed Task Book, which is malheureusement sold out). And watching the clock would look a lot less bleak with a sweet custom sculpture from All Kinds.

Perhaps you’re embracing the weird world of late stage pandemic travel and working (or not working!) remotely – no matter your locale, stay caffeinated (and regular, tbqh) with Grady’s brew bags, stay fresh and waste free with Plus body wash, stay hydrated with an adult S’ippy cup, and stay mobile with this Baboon to the Moon go-bag we’re currently coveting (alongside youth, obviously… it’s brutal out here, right?!?!?!)

In case you couldn’t tell, we’re big on beverages. If you’re trying to steer clear of the caffeine shakes, you might make yourself some tea in this chic Hario Brew Tea Bottle from Te Company. The Golde superwhisk does indeed live up to its USB-charged hype, making swift work of blending powders and frothing mxlks of all persuasions. Strong Island cider fans might consider signing up for Floral Terranes first ever CSA, while the beer breaux would be wise to try Back Home Beer’s debut offering, a crisp Iranian-style (!) lager brewed with a touch of Persian blue salt. 

While we don’t entirely subscribe to the idea of “dinner party season,” we are embracing the current window for gathering round the table en masse. These Ichendorf Milano tumblers are the perfect conversation starter, no matter the drink, nor how awkward your seatmate may be. Pomelo Casa’s signature Spanish designs are on brand for this newsletter’s Euro summer cosplay scheme, and the salad plates in particular are a versatile size and depth perfect for eats of all courses and viscosities. Handwoven windows napkins from Oaxaca are, for lack of a better term, a whole ass vibe, and we’re straight up h*rny on main for this faux horn flatware from Sabre Paris.

By now, it’s probably pretty clear to you that the climate is changing (we hope). Maybe it’s the Amber-alert style Con Ed notifications or the budding anxiety disorder we’ve been feeding this pandemic season (who can say), but we’ve found ourselves thinking about emergency preparedness. For the friend who has everything, why not one of these solar-charging, AM/FM crank radios that can charge a cell phone for when the power goes out? You know, while you’re there, why not up and assemble a whole kit. There are some chic pre-made options from Judy and Preppi, as well, if you feel comforted by throwing money at the problem and receiving some monogrammed leather in return. For more minor cuts, we have also been eyeing these little first aid kits from Welly – wounds, but make it fashion.

This may or may not be the season to be doing things… there’s really no way to know for sure. You might split the difference and gift the bookworm with a passion for small businesses in your life a membership to the Bluestockings Book Club. Movie buffs might take advantage of Metrograph’s significantly reduced pricing for live-streaming movie memberships, or an in-person membership to good old Film Forum (bonus: there’s no better place to beat the heat than in the cool confines of a theater, amirite?). And in the spirit of preparing for the end of days, why not brush up on your foraging skills with a walk or class led by Marie Viljoen, aka @66squarefeet?

Hot girl summer is underway in more ways than one, requiring constant attention to temperature and the tyranny of one’s embodied form. My (SB) own flesh prison has been living in sets of underwear and tanks from Portland-based Arq. These heavy duty maskne fighters from Zit Sticka are a particularly satisfying way to deal with unwanted facial guests.  We’ve also been eyeing this body scrub from C & The Moon after it received an endorsement from perennial hot girl Kimmy K earlier in the month. As always, a hot girl’s glory is her hair, and this girl is particularly curious about the new revamped offerings from Ayurveda-inspired scalp brand Shaz & Kiks. 

And now, for a category we’ve taken to calling “food on cloth”... Who hasn’t been so taken with cured meat that they’d slap it on a towel just to look at it all day? Such is the joy of beholding dear friend of the newsletter Mari’s mortadella dish towel. Limited edition fruit stickers tees delicately skirt the edge of fuccboidom in a way we only somewhat embarrassingly like. We’d eagerly work a classic Zabar’s shirt into our summer wardrobe rotation; unlike their delicious provisions, they’re also shockingly cheap. And these Greek fish market totes are ideal for greenmarket hauls and general schlepping – they’re usually only available wholesale, but a certain nonmedical doctor/boyfriend of this newsletter has the hookup if you’re interested.

Of course, we would be remiss not to include gifts for relaxation. Friend of the newsletter April swears by super-soft cotton PJs from Lake that just so happen to be on sale through Thursday. I’m (JS) officially down on Br**klinen after not one but two fitted sheets ripped (SB: same!!!), so I’m aiming higher in terms of quality and price point, particularly for these gingham linen sheets from Morrow Soft Goods. This discreet pipe necklace from Elevate Jane is giving us chilled out Kathryn Merteuil vibes. And in the perviest of twists, we’ll close this category out with a terracotta curd settler from Ellementry, ensuring the most relaxed of homemade cultures.

Plant gays and aspiring green thumbs might peruse the planter selection from Garmentory. We’re unsurprisingly taken with this rainbow cookie-inspired number from Hello Happy Plants (mamma mia), as well as this vaguely Ionic vase from Objet Aimée (here we go again). If you’re looking for something a little more rustic, might we suggest Terrain’s earth fired line? Plus, their Habit + Form trays are perfect for all sorts of windowsill arrangements.

Foot freaks, listen up: I (JS) find myself drawn to slip-ons these days, especially these Marche Rue Dix babouche and some classic Adissages, for when I just wanna feel something. Meanwhile, I (SB) find myself drawn to platform sandals with good arch support (“bisexual mom chic” if you will). After spying some very cute sandals on friend-of-the-letter Aislin a couple of weeks ago I’ve been sniffing around these throwback, jelly sandal-vibe beauties.  And for those days that you’re casually hanging with Addison Rae (casually, some people just have good energy), there are always Sootheez

Last, but certainly not least, there’s always a gift to be found in ice cream. In case you want to send us some treats (lest we forget: C.R.E.A.M.), you can always Venmo us or send us a pint of any of the following: Sweet Corn Saffron by Malai; Chocolate Fernet by Bad Habit; Makgeolli Blues by Noona (feat. our fave Makku); and/or Salted Egg Kaya by Wanderlust Creamery.

PETITS FOURS

  • I (JS) for one cannot stop thinking about the death horse. Should I move to France and engage in high risk behavior for a shot at meeting him? I’m positively ayo for Peyo (sorry).

  • In the off chance that aforementioned tomfoolery doesn’t lead me to meet my Gallic chthonic stallion king, I’ll busy myself with this South of France scent map til natural causes take me.

  • I (SB) scoped out Orchard Beach for the first time in many years as an Uptown resident. Bookended by trips to Arthur Avenue (where I got some oysters at Cosenza’s) and City Island (where I ate my weight in crab), I absolutely could not recommend it more.

  • Breathe easy Bennifer™ Lovers: they’re back and better than ever. Is this real life? Is this performance art? Sound off in our inbox.